199 Funny Status for Whatsapp, Facebook

At least mosquito's are attracted to me.

Funny Status Quotes for Whatsapp Facebook

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. :)

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)

Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour's wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)

Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED :)

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) :)

Funny Status

Boys, if you don't look like calvin klein models, don't expect us to look like victoria secrets 

Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.

I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep :)

I wonder what happens when doctor's wife eats an apple a day. :)

In bed, it's 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school it's 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31

Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is "Salary is Credited" :)

Today's Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

Very Funny Status For Whatsapp 

Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make a bad person.

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, it's still not enough ;)

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)

It's been 70+ years, Tom. You're never going to eat Jerry :)

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz

The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight :)

There's like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world ... huh

We are WTF generation .... WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D 

Funny Status In Hindi

हमारे शौख का तुम अंदाजा ही ना लगाओ तो अच्छा है, हम वो लोगों में से है, वॉट्सऐप कोलिंग में भी कॉलरट्युन लगवाना चाहते है ।

हर कोई चमक चाहता है, पर कोई उसे चमकाने के लिए पॉलिश करना नही चाहता…

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping :)

Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you're going to die.

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P

Here my dad comes on whatsapp... From now on my status would be '***no status***' or just a smiley...

I Like to study.. Arithmetic - NO ... world history - NO .... chemistry - NO .... GIRLS - YES!!!

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

I'm Jealous Of My Parents... I'll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

If College has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)

In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!

It may look like I'm deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what food to eat later.

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth...

My father always told me, 'Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

People who exercise live longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in the...

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

Funny Status For Whatsapp In Hindi

भगवान सच में बहोत ही Creative है, मेरा मतलब है… मुझे देखो…

अपनी तकदीर में बस यही सिलसिले है, “किसी ने वक्त गुजारने के लिए अपना बनाया” और “किसी ने अपना बना के वक्त गुजार लिया…”

एक मित्र का सात दिनों से Status है : ‘Driving’ – मेरे ख्याल से वह अब तक अाफ्रिका के जंगल में तो पहुंच ही गया होगा।

एक मित्र का हमेशा यही Status होता है : ‘At Work’ – लगता है यह बेचारा है काम के बोझ का मारा, इसे चाहिए हमदर्द का टॉनिक सिंकारा

एक मित्र का Status है Urgent Calls Only मुझे लगता है वह पुलिस, एंबुलेंस या फायर ब्रिगेड में काम करता होगा।

एक मित्र का हमेशा यही Status होता है : ‘At Work’ – लगता है यह बेचारा है काम के बोझ का मारा, इसे चाहिए हमदर्द का टॉनिक सिंकारा

6 Peg Loading .. :D

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

Always wear cute pajamas to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it

Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call... Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

Funny Status for Whatsapp Facebook

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me! :)

Hey there whatsapp is using me.

How can i miss something i never had?

I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice :)

I hate fake people. You know what I'm talking about. Mannequins. :D

I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them :)

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.....

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

Funny Status

Being Funny Whatsapp Status

I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.

If school has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)

If time does not wait for you, don't worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I'll tell you more.

Last seen 1980! :D

Life is Short - Chat Fast!

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

Top Funny Status For Friends

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions :)

Save water drink beer.

When I'm a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians...

When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to change what you said.

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

Whoever says "Good Morning" on Monday's deserves to get slapped :)

You can never buy Love....But still you have to pay for it ..